Da Bones Quote Lists

Which Shakespeare play is Lion King based on? It's the one with Hamlet...oh, Hamlet!
-- Jeff

...Lot's of friction.
-- Lizzie

Fuck her in the ass because it's Tuesday!
-- Dennis

Uh, which hole should I put it in, Lizzie? I'm confused.
-- Roger

I have a vagina...that I like to play with.
-- Dennis

You know, my version of sex is very very very very wide.
-- Jared

I am the fucking to go to bed.
-- Max

Something bony boned me.
-- Sarah

I have to go to the other side and meet people because I haven't gotten any since I came here.
-- Garen

It's not rape if you yell, "Surprise!"
-- Jeff

Maybe in private, with more alcohol later. That's how the band works.
-- Jared

If she claws your eyes out rather than sprays you, then you'll know.
-- Adam Sorrin, in reference to Kathryn’s black and white cat costume

My hands aren't helping anything.
-- Anonymous

Kathryn: What's wrong with a salamander?
Jared: It shouldn't be in a vagina!
(Later)
Jared: The puppies are okay, but the salamanders should never be in the picture.

Kathryn: So that's what you sound like when you orgasm?

Brad: Only on "Cat Night," which is Thursday night.

[Brad] should totally be a joke lawyer...just for funsies.
-- Lauren

They're awake; therefore they aren't having sex.
-- Roger, in reference to Brad and Sarah

I'm very pencil anal.
-- Sarah

Oh, mutual. You probably didn't say enema, either.
-- Jared

Sarah, you should make out with cookies!
-- Drunk Vicki

I love drinking with strange people!
-- Drunk Vicki

He's awesome. Like, I want to have his children, but I can't.
-- Jared, about Ewan McGregor

Careful...that TV is broken.
-- Jared (After Kathryn slammed her phone into the side of a TV)

No one writes the Boondoggle. It's just secreted by the band room floor.
-- Jared

Jeff: So you shoot the girl out of the air with your cum, like Duck Hunt?
Jared (upon reading the quote): Then what would be the dog?

Your ass is pleasant; her ass is excruciating!
-- Roger, to Kathryn

Tuning is for gays!
-- B-Rob, to Jared

I wanna prove I can be gay!
-- Jeff

I have a banana on my forehead!
-- New Rose (Context: Rose, Max, Roger, and pep band porn)

Vicki: Where do you buy cups?
Dan Gu: Dick's.

It tastes like bananas are raping my mouth.
-- Christine

I guess I would rather have sex with an excited pair of thighs than a boring vagina.
-- Christian

Didn't Jared want to play asshole? Oh wait...
-- Lizzie